quote:

Originally posted by oz2:

LOL, even ROFL, Oz2! You're not serious, are you?

quote:

Originally posted by oz2:
Promising to be more attentive I told her to walk closely behind me as the train pulled in - in the rush to get on the train I reached back and grabbed her hand to help her onto the train. Guiding us towards the seats I turned back to her to find a bemused young man with a wide grin hanging onto my hand. My wife was behind him having a laughing fit. Future rides were much less dramatic.

Wonderful!

Mallee - your inference being ???

quote:

Originally posted by oz2:
Mallee - your inference being ???

That your story is so incredibly funny that "you gotta be jokin'!"

Oh Oz2 ~ too, too funny. I bet you never live that one down!

This didn't happen on a tour, but this did happen just prior to my departing on a tour, would it count?

I had a couple of days in London before departing on a coach tour of the British Isles. The hotel I was staying in had seen better days, to put it mildly. I was there for two nights. My first night there I had a shower (it was a shower/bath combo and the bath was very shallow) and not only did I flood the bathroom, I flooded my room as well. Reason why? The bathroom wasn't sealed properly! Then I found the room very stuffy and I went towindoewopen the window. It was a sash window. Well I opened the window all right - I pulled the entire window frame out of the wall! Now bear in mind this was London in November so it wasn't exactly warm! It was my last night in London so I didn't bother asking for another room, I just wore all my winter clothes to bed! I also succeeded in breaking the only working public toilet there during my stay, and as I was walking down the stairs from my room to the foyer to check out of the hotel, I stepped on a rotting floorboard and one of my legs was buried up to my thigh! My yells alerted everyone in the hotel and it took three people to extricate me!

quote:

Originally posted by Stinkerbelle:
...not only did I flood the bathroom, I flooded my room as well... I pulled the entire window frame out of the wall! ... I also succeeded in breaking the only working public toilet there ...it took three people to extricate me!

Oh, it's wonderful to read these stories! Stinkerbelle - er, may I ask, please; what is the connection between your leg being buried when you wrecked the stairs, and the public toilet's being put out of commission?

At least you know that none of this was your fault, and I hope that that particular 'hotel' is no longer in business!

The rest of the tour must have been pretty good to have balanced out that unfortunate 2 nights.

Stinkerbelle ~ So you were staying at Fawlty Tours? Were the staff as funny?

quote:

Originally posted by Birdman:
Sorry Mallee, it just so happens that ladies were involved in those two incidents - you are quite right of course, men are generally much more inconsiderate, most of the stories I could tell about them are, frankly, unrepeatable, and in some cases, unbelievable!!

Birdman; I'm sorry. I've just realised why you responded so courteously. I'll try to think before I post, next time.

quote:

Originally posted by Dimpz:
Stinkerbelle ~ So you were staying at Fawlty Tours? Were the staff as funny?

No, the hotel was in Paddington, I didn't see much of the staff actually. Apparently the hotel is still in business although it underwent major renovations not long after I stayed there , i wonder why?

I've got another good one. Again it wasn't on a tour, it occurred on a Qantas flight from Sydney to Honolulu. I was needing to use the toilet, and all the ones in my area of the plane were full. My need wasn't urgent so I decided to wait patiently and not go to other parts of the plane to see if the toilets there were full. So I'm standing waiting, minding my own business, when the plane hit a violent burst of turbulence. I lurched forward and grabbed what I thought was the back of the nearest seat to steady myself. Unfortunately it wasn't a seat that I grabbed. I grabbed the top of some poor man's head and yanked his toupee right off!!!!!!!!

It was sooooo funny, a moment when one is truly speechless. And I'm not kidding, this damn toupee flew right through the air really high, and it landed right at the foot of the beverage cart - several passengers must have gotten thirsty in the middle of the night (necause that's what it was, outside the plane was pitch black) and buzzed for drinks service! I can see the flight attendant looking from me, to the toupee on the floor, to the guy on whose head it belonged, and back several times. Taking the plunge, I picked it up and handed it back to the guy, saying "I'm so sorry sir, if it was your false teeth I'd recommend a better Poly Grip, but I don't know what you use to make these babies stick!" Actually he was really nice about it, he thought it was funny too, and his wife was in hysterics. I can still hear her saying, (imagine American accent here) "See Dave, I've told you for years you look better without it and now here's the proof!" Hilarious.

Anyway, on the same flight I made the lady who was sitting beside me look for another seat. I woke her up you see. What happened is that my headphones weren't working properly, you could turn the volume right up and the sound was still very faint. So I literally got back to my seat from the toupee fiasco, (which everyone in the plane seemed to know about by then), plonked my butt back down in the seat, plugged my headphones back in, turned the volume up to maximum and voila! Instead of turning up the sound in my own headphones I had accidentally turned up the sound in the headphones of the lady sitting next to me, and she was fast asleep! She about jumped out of her skin, and I'm sure she would have dented the roof only she was still restrained by her seat belt! Needless to say she wasn't as gracious as the toupee guy and his wife.

I am sure the staff from Qantas flight 125 still talk about that flight! I know I still chuckle when I think about it !!!!!!!!

Stinkerbelle

LOL. Has anyone approached you to make a movie about your travels?!

Sometimes I think the trip fiasco's are the funniest.

Stinkerbelle you are priceless - & such a tonic

Stinkerbelle

You have had me crying with laughter



oz2

Loved it too

I have a great imagination and could picture it all

Stinkerbelle ~ I think we should make a movie of you and Mallee on tour, it would be a smash hit.

You are both very funny ladies.....but very unlucky.

quote:

Originally posted by Missie:
Stinkerbelle ~ I think we should make a movie of you and Mallee on tour, it would be a smash hit.
You are both very funny ladies.....but very unlucky.

Oh no, Missie - the stars of that show are going to be Rex and Stinkerbelle . I'm too busy laughing even to order the new mirrors that are coming out for the niche market! Lots of

The next question is: who is going to chaperon them?